‘The Pain Body’
Understanding ‘The Pain Body’
We all have core wounds that have developed since we were babies. At the root of these core wounds, is the belief that we are separate from love. These core wounds cause a lot of emotional pain and create long held patterns in the body that are associated with it. We hold emotional pain and these core wounds in our body- this is ‘the pain body.’
The concept of pain body was developed by Eckhart Tolle, a spiritual teacher and author from his book the New Earth (great book!). The pain body is the residual effects of emotions stored in the body that have NOT been FULLY processed, accepted or released. It is an accumulation of ALL the emotional pain you have experienced over your life time and it leaves an energetic imprint in you. The pain body is an energy that is trapped in the body.
Everything is energy. We know this as fact, and the pain body takes on an energy of its own. It comes alive when we experience negative emotions or when one of our core wounds is triggered. The pain body needs more negative emotion for its survival. You may experience the pain body as anger, rage, sadness, anxiety, or some other difficult or negative emotion.
Everybody has experienced strong negative emotions and the effects they have on the pain body, however, they may not be aware of it. Have you ever wondered why when you experience a difficult or negative emotion you lash out, go silent, or maybe even overreact? This is the pain body having its way with you.
As a child, my parents didn’t model a healthy way to deal with emotions effectively so I learned to bury my difficult emotions and felt unable to ask for help or what I needed. I know now that it was not my parents’ fault as they did the best that they could do with the tools that they had at the time. Most children are in a similar boat: burying their pain deep inside, feeling invisible, ashamed, angry, alone, and unable to ask for what they need. When we experience events that are emotionally overwhelming, ones that we are unable to process or accept, and if were not able to express them through our body and mind, we hide them deep inside ourselves where others can’t see them. We try to hide the pain from ourselves too. When we do this, we build heart walls. We maneuver in the world with our masks on, and life goes on, for better or worse, with the emotional pain accumulating in the pain body.
Everybody’s pain body is unique to them and is activated differently depending on the core wound or relational trauma they were subjected to (see RELATIONAL TRAUMA). The pain body can be passed on from your parents, ancestors or societally as our collective wounds. Some people live solely through their pain body, such as unhappy people, while for others it is activated when they experience an emotion that resonates with past difficult emotions that were similar. When the pain body is activated it takes over. You may experience the feeling as heat in the body or some other feeling, and it forces you to act out in ways that may surprise your best friend or even your partner. What is important about the pain body is how you deal with it.
Behaviors Associated with the Pain Body
The pain body has a direct effect on your behaviors. If you find that you are easily emotionally triggered or you tend to overreact, you are being hijacked by the pain body. Other behaviors that demonstrate that you are operating from the pain body are: you might withdraw from someone, go silent, withhold your love, or lash out. Have you ever wondered how it is that you sabotage your relationships? It’s because the pain body takes over.
How To Deal with the Pain Body
There are several ways to work with the pain body. One way is to fully process unresolved feelings and emotions through the body and mind. Working with a therapist and somatic or embodiment coach can assist you. Another way to work with the pain body is through awareness. It is necessary for you to notice when the feeling, it is different for everybody, arises, and just allow the feeling ‘to be’ completely. You want to feel the power the pain body is experiencing. Where do you feel it? Notice how it affects your thoughts. Notice without judgement. Accept it. This will help you to regain your own consciousness. I mentioned that the pain body needs more negative emotion for it to exist. It is necessary for you to break identification with it so it loses its power over you. It will then subside and weaken. Your body is the place that this particular emotion or thought is playing out in. Allow yourself to observe, feel and know that you are not your emotions.
Benefits of The Pain Body
Your pain body forces you to wake up to your life and what is happening. It can be one of your greatest teachers and can help you to cleanse and purify yourself. It allows you to recognize how you sabotage your relationships. By paying attention to the pain body, it can bring you into a deeper state of awareness, consciousness and closer in touch with what and who you really are.
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Jennevieve Ybarra
jennevieveybarra.com
Embodied Relationships & Dance
'Be the Love and the Lover You are Seeking’